Wearing: Streaked Light

(Anthropologie Streaked Light skirt, J.Crew paisley button-up, LOFT sweater, UO leather belt, Kohl's flats, Husbie's watch)

I am not a shy girl.

I'm not the life of the party either,

but you can definitely count on me to be the

girl standin' right next to the life of the party.

I can't go to sleep at night until everyone else does

because I'm afraid I'll miss something big.

I wanna know the story of the girl standing next to me in the grocery store.

I wanna talk to the guy painting in the street.

I'm most at home in a crowd...the more, the better.

I want to know everything I can about you

and when you can't or won't let me in, it hurts.

My space bubble is non-existent. I'm the girl with no personal space.

That's why I'm sure I can be a bit much--

come on a bit too strongly...for some people.

When I was younger I was afraid of my own shadow.

I just knew every criminal in the world was out to get me.

I was afraid to talk, afraid I would say the wrong thing.

I was afraid people would laugh at me if I failed.

I cried everyday of the year I was eleven

(I'm not exaggerating...just ask my mom).

I remember overhearing my dad tell her,

"If Kristina can ever quit worrying what other people

think of her, she'll be fabulous."

Then, one day I realized, I really didn't care what anyone else thought.

Yes, it was painful to be told I didn't make the cut.

Yes, I still wished everyone would like me.

Yes, I might sometimes have come off as snobby and passed right by you,

but you can bet that was only because I was so lost in the haze

of ideas bouncing around in my brain that I missed the moment.

I absolutely know the best things in life aren't things...they're you.

I'm an equal-opportunity friender...tall, short, straight, round, dark or fair...

Every other person on this planet has something to teach me.

I just figure, you might as well like yourself, ya know...

'cuz just think of all the time you have to spend with you.

And everyone's gonna think one thing or the other...

If I laugh too loudly, someone will think I'm trying to get attention.

If I shrivel in a corner, someone else will think I'm incompetent.

People can think what they want...probably only half of it is true anyway...

I know (better than anyone else) exactly what my short-comings are.

Even the best perceptions of me might only be smoke and mirrors.

I am what I am.

I'm driven and focused one day, flighty and loony the next.

I can spend an entire day with my head in the clouds,

then the next day, I'll accomplish a week's worth of work.

I'm horrible at math, I can't draw, and I absolutely, stinkin' despise cleaning the house.

I can be snarky and self-depreciating or patient and confident.

While I'm not ready to say I've reached my dad's high mark of fabulous,

there's no doubt I've left behind the insecure version of myself,

no doubt that I know who I am--

a girl sought after and cherished by God.

A girl who recognizes her limitations and capitalizes on her strengths.

So, no...I'm not the shy girl, and

I'm not the life of the party, either.

I've never been funny enough, pretty enough, or smart enough

to stand out in a crowd, but that's really ok.

I'm cool with just being nice.

Wearing: 1970's Autumn Leaves

On this, the first day of Twenty-Eleven, I decided to go back...40 years back.

I'm wearing a vintage dress from the 1970's that I bought from Emily at her amazing Etsy store, El Vintage.

My mother can hardly handle this...the polyester, I mean.

Of course, she did live in it for an entire decade, so I guess I sorta get the nauseous look that comes over her face at the mere mention of polyester. I have to concede that if I had nothing but double knit to wear, I'd probably tire of it, too...but I have lots of options, so I really don't mind it now and again...and actually, I've worn this dress three times since I bought it last month.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a little bit flighty.

Actually I'm a lot bit flighty, but anyways...

Instead of making a New Year's Resolution this year,

I decided to focus on one word that could improve every area of my life.

My goal for 2011 is to be PRESENT...

as in focused, tuned-in to what's going on in the moment, mentally available in conversations and activities.

Creativity is great, but if my head's always in the clouds when I'm playing with my children or talking to the husbie, then I'm not really engaged, now am I? It would be a real shame to stay at home with my children and realize years from now that I was only really present in body, but not in mind and heart.

I want to put all my energy and focus into what I'm doing in the moment:

whether it is designing, sewing, playing, loving, praying, or conversing.

So, if I'm ever talking to you and start to stare out into space, lost in thought, you have my permission to slap me upside the head and say, "Be present, Kristina!"

OK, maybe you could just snap your fingers or something... =D

Happy New Year!

(El Vintage dress, LOFT fur vest and belt, Anthro Renssalaur t-straps, UO tights)