Wearing: Ballet Bun

Thursday, January 27, 2011

You know that feeling?
The one you get during the last few hours of vacation when you
have just a few hours before boarding a plane back to the real world?
You stand there, toes in the sand...taking in the last light of the day, fighting with every ounce of conscious thought to stay there--to remember the peace of that moment.

I'm in that moment. True, I'm not on vacation.
The bills make a steady stream through my door.
Professional deadlines close in.
Husbie and I haven't had alone time in weeks and
I can't remember the last time I saw sunshine...and yet...in my mind,
I'm standing on that beach, thinking,
"I can't imagine a moment in life more satisfying."

I'm in the middle of something so much bigger than me
that I can't even take it all in...
and while I'm doing this thing that may not impact the world,
just the act of emptying my heart has changed me forever.

I'm not who I used to be...
and that is a very good thing.

See how my nose curves to the right a little bit in this picture?
I broke my nose against a guy's forehead in college playing a pick-up game of basketball.
Yup, that's coordinated me...snapped the tip right off.

(Anthropologie Peppered and Striped skirt and Shine Through button up, J.Crew Merino cardi, UO oxford pumps, Husbie's Unlisted watch, Hue tights)

Wearing: Shine Through

Friday, December 3, 2010

I'm trying to appreciate the temporary condition of today. For one beautiful moment, my world became a winter wonderland, then today, nothing...just brown, gray earth.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time, back to the pretty, snowy days in my life...
before hurt ever touched my heart, before doubt ever entered my mind.

But I know I can't go back to those days.
I can't erase the mistakes or take away the questions you might have about me...I can't always let myself be kept in turmoil at being misunderstood, stumbling every which way I turn.

I have to keep walking, learning, growing...
because as some anonymous person said,

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--Wow, what a ride!"

(Anthro Ha'penny cardi, Shine Through button up, Circle the Globe skirt, Target stud belt, Mia booties, Orla Kiely print bag)

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