Best of 2011: The Words

Monday, January 2, 2012

I think there is something in all of us that fears being misunderstood.
The words below were my favorite written during the past year because
the original post encapsulated the essence of who I am and
I felt I understood myself better for having written it.
(GAP sweater and blazer, Banana Republic skirt, J.Crew shirt, Nine West boots, AE watch, LOFT shades)

I am not a shy girl.
I'm not the life of the party either,
but you can definitely count on me to be the
girl standin' right next to the life of the party.
I can't go to sleep at night until everyone else does
because I'm afraid I'll miss something big.
I wanna know the story of the girl standing next to me in the grocery store.
I wanna talk to the guy painting in the street.
I'm most at home in a crowd...the more, the better.
I'm an equal-opportunity friender...tall, short, straight, round, dark or fair...
Every other person on this planet has something to teach me.
I want to know everything I can about you
and when you can't or won't let me in, it hurts.
My space bubble is non-existent. I'm the girl with no personal space.
That's why I'm sure I can be a bit much--
come on a bit too strongly...for some people.
When I was younger I was afraid of my own shadow.
I just knew every criminal in the world was out to get me.
I was afraid to talk, afraid I would say the wrong thing.
I was afraid people would laugh at me if I failed.
I cried everyday of the year I was eleven
(I'm not exaggerating...ask my mom).
I remember overhearing my dad tell her,
"If Kristina can ever quit worrying what other people
think of her, she'll be fabulous."
Then, one day I realized, I really didn't care what anyone else thought.
Yes, it was painful to be told I didn't make the cut.
Yes, I still wished everyone would like me.
Yes, I might sometimes have come off as snobby and passed right by you,
but you can bet that was only because I was so lost in the haze
of ideas bouncing around in my brain that I missed the moment.
I absolutely know the best things in life aren't things...they're you.

I just figure, you might as well like yourself, ya know...
just think of all the time you have to spend with you.
And everyone's gonna think one thing or the other...
If I laugh too loudly, someone will think I'm trying to get attention.
If I shrivel in a corner, someone else will think I'm incompetent.
People can think what they want...probably only half of it is true anyway...
I know (better than anyone else) exactly what my short-comings are.
Even the best perceptions of me might only be smoke and mirrors.
I am what I am.
I'm driven and focused one day, flighty and loony the next.
I can spend an entire day with my head in the clouds,
then the next day, I'll accomplish a week's worth of work.
I'm horrible at math, I can't draw, and I absolutely, stinkin' despise cleaning the house.
I can be snarky and self-depreciating or patient and confident.

While I'm not ready to say I've reached my dad's high mark of fabulous,
there's no doubt I've left behind the insecure version of myself,
no doubt that I know who I am--
a girl sought after and cherished by God.
A girl who recognizes her limitations and capitalizes on her strengths.
So, no...I'm not the shy girl, and
I'm not the life of the party, either.
I've never been funny enough, pretty enough, or smart enough
to stand out in a crowd, but that's really ok.
I'm cool with just being nice.
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  1. You are awesome. Those were some amazing words, and i think that everyone feels like that at some point. Thanks for sharing, and i i hope your 2012 is even better that 2011! P.S. I love that sweater!(;

  2. I love that last line, I'm cool with just being nice. Well said.

  3. i love this post!! thanks for sharing with all of us!!

  4. You are fabulous and I love you,lady! Happy New year :D

  5. What an amazing post! You are FABULOUS in every way :)I hope you had an amazing New Year. Thanks for sharing these words with us.

  6. Beautifully written. Thanks for the inspiration!

  7. being nice is so vitally might never realize the seeds of happiness you have planted in others by just being nice. I think you are amazingly creative and fun. I love reading your blog! My parents were always literally screaming at me for not having confidence....which made me have even less confidence. I totally understand the feeling of trying to be nice and having it undervalued to being popular, gorgeous, and entertaining....but again, you never know whose life you have blessed by just being kind. You could just change the world with it! ;)

  8. Thanks for your inspiring words. This is something I'm learning right now: to embrace who God created me to be and to know that I am loved by the One who matters.

    Also, love the pink with your outfit!

  9. Kristina this is an amazing post. I'm sure so many girls (including me) can relate, so thanks for sharing! And I love your outfit...can't comment without mentioning that! The black & white stripes with the pink looks great :)

    The Other Side of Gray

  10. I really was touched by that, thank you.


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