Being a mom is the toughest thing I've ever done.
There are moments in the midst of the endless
laundry and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
that I feel as if I've been set adrift...slightly disoriented
in the expanse of life between diapers and diplomas.
Seasoned mothers tell me,
"One day (and it will seem like tomorrow),
you will go away from this."
After my daughter breaks the heads off all my tulips in the yard
and my son's ill-thrown tennis ball breaks the last
of my hurricane vases from Pottery Barn
I initially find myself thinking,
I can't wait until this stage is past,
and they grow out of that.
I learned my greatest lesson about parenting
from losing my brother...
objects can be replaced...
while the little boy giving me his latest painting
as a peace offering for the broken vase never can.

When I pass the flower vase on the table
filled with the brightly-colored tulips picked "just for me"
I'm struck by the thought that to fast-forward
past all the spilled milk and bumbles and tumbles of my children
would also mean skipping past the beautiful part of them
that believes my kisses really heal their worst boo-boo's.
Then, I find myself mourning the days of their short lives already gone by,
because it's terrifyingly true...
One day, (and it will seem like tomorrow)
I will go away from all this...

(Anthro Two Paths trench, LOFT flower pins, Walmart Chambray shirt, Kristina J. Megan skirt, Candie's pumps)