Wearing: Streaked Light

Thursday, March 17, 2011

(Anthropologie Streaked Light skirt, J.Crew paisley button-up, LOFT sweater, UO leather belt, Kohl's flats, Husbie's watch)

I am not a shy girl.
I'm not the life of the party either,
but you can definitely count on me to be the
girl standin' right next to the life of the party.
I can't go to sleep at night until everyone else does
because I'm afraid I'll miss something big.
I wanna know the story of the girl standing next to me in the grocery store.
I wanna talk to the guy painting in the street.
I'm most at home in a crowd...the more, the better.

I want to know everything I can about you
and when you can't or won't let me in, it hurts.
My space bubble is non-existent. I'm the girl with no personal space.
That's why I'm sure I can be a bit much--
come on a bit too strongly...for some people.

When I was younger I was afraid of my own shadow.
I just knew every criminal in the world was out to get me.
I was afraid to talk, afraid I would say the wrong thing.
I was afraid people would laugh at me if I failed.
I cried everyday of the year I was eleven
(I'm not exaggerating...just ask my mom).
I remember overhearing my dad tell her,
"If Kristina can ever quit worrying what other people
think of her, she'll be fabulous."

Then, one day I realized, I really didn't care what anyone else thought.
Yes, it was painful to be told I didn't make the cut.
Yes, I still wished everyone would like me.
Yes, I might sometimes have come off as snobby and passed right by you,
but you can bet that was only because I was so lost in the haze
of ideas bouncing around in my brain that I missed the moment.
I absolutely know the best things in life aren't things...they're you.

I'm an equal-opportunity friender...tall, short, straight, round, dark or fair...
Every other person on this planet has something to teach me.
I just figure, you might as well like yourself, ya know...
'cuz just think of all the time you have to spend with you.
And everyone's gonna think one thing or the other...
If I laugh too loudly, someone will think I'm trying to get attention.
If I shrivel in a corner, someone else will think I'm incompetent.

People can think what they want...probably only half of it is true anyway...
I know (better than anyone else) exactly what my short-comings are.
Even the best perceptions of me might only be smoke and mirrors.

I am what I am.
I'm driven and focused one day, flighty and loony the next.
I can spend an entire day with my head in the clouds,
then the next day, I'll accomplish a week's worth of work.
I'm horrible at math, I can't draw, and I absolutely, stinkin' despise cleaning the house.
I can be snarky and self-depreciating or patient and confident.

While I'm not ready to say I've reached my dad's high mark of fabulous,
there's no doubt I've left behind the insecure version of myself,
no doubt that I know who I am--
a girl sought after and cherished by God.
A girl who recognizes her limitations and capitalizes on her strengths.

So, no...I'm not the shy girl, and
I'm not the life of the party, either.
I've never been funny enough, pretty enough, or smart enough
to stand out in a crowd, but that's really ok.
I'm cool with just being nice.

40 comments:

  1. Beautiful outfit, beautiful pictures, and beautiful post!

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  2. You have the most profound things to say. I really enjoy your posts. i think you would be a great asset to the Shape What's to Come community. Check it out www.shapewhatstocome.com.

    xxoo Gaby
    www.paperplanesandmaryjanes.com

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  3. so darned exciting to feel good about yourself! I love the casual perfection of these pieces together- the backdrop you've chosen is perfect!

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  4. beautiful writing. You are a great friend to have in real life.
    Cindy Bronto

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  5. Fabulous post! It reminds me of the book, "Captivated...Understanding the heart of a woman". I think I got that title right. Your dad was completely on the mark and I try to tell myself that all the time. Let go of what people think. It really doesn't matter. I'm not perfect. But I'm giving it my best shot at just being me and I find that when I'm hard on myself; I'm usually hard on others too. I think I'll just cut me and EVERYONE a little bit of slack! Thanks for such a wonderful post! ~Serene

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  6. Great post - love your writing and your look too, as usual :) That sweater is to die for - love the colours and the buttons on the shoulder

    Fabulous indeed!

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  7. And being nice is for me one of the most beautiful things in the world, because it will never fade.
    Your blog is really great and you have so much talent, I love your style because it has everything I like too !
    Thank you for your comment and your kind words.
    talk to you soon !

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  8. That sweater looks great on you! i love it!!! The buttons on it are so pretty too. I love unique shirts and buttons.

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  9. Lovely post. Lovely pictures. You are making me upset that I didn't pick up that Loft sweater now. I must've went back to it about 6 different times. You made it really look lovely. The skirt is gorgeous too. Pretty perfect post if you ask me. :)

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  10. Well, Kristin, I think you've stood out to me from the beginning of your blogging, as this fashionable, gorgeous, little thing with more talent in her little pinky than I've seen so far.
    Love your sweater/paisley shirt combo.
    p.s. I don't doubt your very nice too.

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  11. Fabulous outfit, post, photos...! I am hooked on your blog.

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  12. Your post was so touching! I've had some things happen in life that have shaken my personal confidence, but you are so right, we have to look past that and "capitalize" on our God-given strengths! And I will never forget the sweet, vibrant girl who swept up onto GBS campus, and not knowing me from Eve, introduced herself and (I'm sure) gave me a hug! Love you, Kristina! Let's just sit back and let God make us into His fabulous women!

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  13. Beautifully written and impeccably styled. You are one class act, Miss Kristina J.


    Leaving the House in THIS?!?!

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  14. First, I have to make a vapid beauty focused comment. If I had your hair I would be a happy woman every time I looked at myself in the mirror in the morning. It is so ROMANTIC! Seriously, it's lovely. And now I can focus on the writing, sorry- so thoughtful and honest! And at the risk of being too brief in my response- because there is so much to respond to!- You are every girl in this post. I defy anyone to not identify with you here. You made me smile and think and evaluate all at once. Wonderful, truly. I want to draw (and can't)and I too hate cleaning the house, then hate that the house isn't clean and can't stand the thought of someone else coming in to do it!
    Thank you so much for visiting and commenting on my blog- it means a lot to me that you did.

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  15. What a wonderful post! I was so excited to visit your blog after reading the very lovely comment you left on mine! Wow! What a treat it was to find these beautiful pictures and such honest self expression. You may not be able to draw, but there is surely an art form to your writing!

    I identified so closely with many of the inner thoughts you revealed. Though I always knew I was artistic, I felt this was something private and fragile because I hadn't yet found my medium. Once I discovered porcelain it was as if I had found a part of myself. I am learning to let that shy (and yes, crying everyday) 11 year old part of me embrace my differences, rather than hiding my most precious eccentricities from the world. These are the things that make us unique, the very things worth celebrating! Its startling how much our obsessive self consciousness as young adolescence can delay this self love!

    Thank you so much for visiting my shop, and my blog! I am very excited to now be a follower of your story!
    Lindsay
    http://www.suiteonestudio.blogspot.com

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  16. You look gorgeous, and to me you've always been FABULOUS! I love that you pour your words out so beautifully! I have never, ever, even for a minute been shy - but I'm always laughing too loud, talking too much...it's funny because a few people have accused me of being self-absorbed because of it...used to crush me...now I'm all, what a shame you think that - because if you'd laugh and jabber with me it would be lots more fun then turning your nose up ;)

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  17. good words...good way to live.
    Blessings.

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  18. Hey Girl. love your blog. thanks for the sweet comment and for stopping by my blog. I will adding more organization tips onto my "Tippy Tuesdays series" every tuesday. Thanks for the feedback, I am a newbie at this. I love geting comments! thanks and have a great day!

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  19. You look absolutely stunning! I must have this whole outfit!

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  20. This is such a wonderful post. I love how you refuse to limit yourself and you celebrate that you can be both a little quiet but also loud sometimes, insecure but confident. So often it seems like we make ourselves choose. Your pictures are lovely!! Happy Friday:) MademoiselleMichael

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  21. New to your blog, but it's great. Really love the outfit, but most especially the sweater and the watch! :) And I'll try and send some sunhine your way... Thanks for checking my blog out! :)

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  22. You have an excellent photographer, they really caught the light on those sequins nicely! Wow, the vintagey paisley button dress peaking out of the cozy sweater is marvelous. I must try that for an outfit myself.

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  23. You amazing close up Kristina - beautiful features, and your hair is just gorgeously romantic. I'm not that shy, but sometimes i don't speak up when i should. It's something i'm still working on! thanks for this post.

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  24. Loved reading your thoughts here. I agree with some of the previous comments...every girl seems to face these negative feelings at some point. I'm so thankful that age has also brought me some self confidence and the luxury to laugh at myself and move on :) haha
    Have a great weekend!! Love the outfit and beautiful lighting...

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  25. hi kristina!! thanks for your comment... that is so awesome that you are also a youth pastors wife! i love that. love your blog and your style!! God bless <3

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  26. Lovely post, Kristin - and I love the outfit! Such an interesting combination of colors, prints, and textures. =D It's a terrific success.

    And you are fabulous.

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  27. that post was kind of amazing girl! its a cool moment in every girls life when they realize that being who they are IS cool and to just own it! changed my life big time! its nice to hear that we all go through something like that in our lives and come out more awesome on the other side and girl you are awesome!

    ~selina

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  28. You are SO fabulous! I love the raw honesty of this post, and I love your self-confidence. (and I also despise cleaning the house, you are not alone).

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  29. Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. I love your blog and will definitely be coming back again. I feel like in one post I know you pretty well. :) From what I can tell, I do believe you have achieved fabulous!

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  30. great post! Thanks for commenting on my blog Kristina! I just checked out your blog since I'm sort of a newb here hahaha. I'm hooked on your blog now btw :) you have awesome style and obvs have lots of talents in you!

    is it also creepy if I say you have the prettiest eyes? I'm jealous.

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  31. Hey!

    I just found your blog after you commented on mine. I love your blog! I love the way you style your outfits, they are so cute! And I love that you always seems to be wearing something from Anthropologie, my FAVORITE store. And your dress Orchid Whisper is the cutest dress I've seen in a while!

    And the picture in your header is so great!
    Love it!

    Anjelica

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  32. U look gorgy Kristina, love that skirt...=D xx Mary

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  33. I love that shirt! Adorable and looks so comfy!

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  34. Great post! I love your whole outfit! The sweater is my favorite!

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  35. this post is awesome.. i really loved the content cause i feel like i can relate to it so much! It super cool that you shared that with people.. it makes you as vulnerable as walking around naked... hahhaha but its super cool to hear that from you! One thing about me is that I want to give hugs like crazy. People I like, people i dont like, people i just met, people i have known all my life. my boyfriends says that if it was for me i would be giving homeless people hugs everyday... so one day if i meet you kristina dont be weirded out if i give you a hug! :)

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  36. sorry i meant to say boyfriend... not plural! hahahah how horrible!

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