Dress--Kristina J. Indus Valley
Trench--Lauren Conrad for Kohls
I am a naturally exuberant person.
I'm thankful. I smile. I think life is a wonderful, continuous dream come true.
It's a state of mind that comes from deep inside my soul...but it wasn't always this way. I used to be the most intimidated girl in the room--comparing my big nose to that other girl's little button one or worrying that I'd come cross as clumsy or awkward. Which let's face it, most of the time, I am.
Then, I sorta bumbled my way into an astounding truth (in a Dr. Seuss book of all places).
Today you are You. That is truer than true.
There's no one alive who is Youer than You.
It seemed the year I turned fifteen I was released from the debilitating prison of comparing myself to everyone else out there. I suddenly felt it was okay to be different...to be scatter-brained or kitschy.
What good is being the best, anyway? Egos are such a waste of time...there will always be a girl who's smarter and prettier and more wildly talented.
I was a piano major in college, and when I sit down to play, husbie will look at my music and ask, "How do you read all those notes at the same time?
Because...practice makes perfect.
I don't think about it anymore. It just happens.
Life is like that.
I've spent years practicing a mindset of acceptance. Sure, I'm an expert at knowing all my blunders, rationalizations and cover-ups. These things are intrinsically a part of me. I am all the memories, experiences, people and places that have made me the woman I am today. Recognizing the worst parts of myself and practicing at finding the notes of contentment and peace make my life, not easier...but more beautiful and satisfying.
I've spent so much time making a conscious effort to be grateful for all the good things and amazing people surrounding me that I don't think about it anymore.
It just happens.
And while my life is no longer governed by the emotional giddiness I experienced as a young girl, most mornings I wake up irrationally happy, because I know my life is a wonderful, continuous dream come true.
--Original post May 26, 2011