Outfits for Every Season By Adding Layers | The Pink + Orange Edition

I hate strongly dislike being cold. I also hate strongly dislike limiting my brightly colored pieces to being worn only in the summer. Putting these two together is what drives me to create outfits for each season by adding layers to my summer pieces. It's a pretty formulaic way for me to use my clothes more effectively while keeping my look fresh. If you read my post on overcoming 12 months of insecurity, you saw the spring version of this outfit and since then, I've been able to rework the same pink and orange pieces to use even as the weather turned chilly. I've found that extra layers of denim and khaki always add interest and texture. Next year, I could go with a different colored cardigan and work through the whole formula again to create an entirely new group of outfits. Cool, yeah?

7 Things I've Learned About Self Confidence Since I Graduated High School

Anthropologie Drifting By dress and belt |  J.Crew cardi |  Steve Madden flats |  DIY watch tutorial

1.  My Self-Worth is Not Determined by Other's Opinions 

Worrying about the opinion of others gave me panic attacks. I'd start analyzing what people thought of me, and then began to base my self-worth on those emotions rather than the truth. I lived in fear that if people really knew me, they wouldn't like me. 
The ironic thing is, it's actually a form of pride to think people are thinking about me at all, let alone bad things. Humanity is, in general, pretty selfish. Most of the time, others will be thinking about themselves and what I'm thinking about them. When I woke up this morning, I could have focused on the bags under my eyes, my frizzy hair or what you might thing of this post and naturally, I could have felt awful, but I chose instead to believe God's Truth that I am handcrafted by Him regardless of what I see or feel or what others think of me. (Eph.2:10)

2.  I'm NOT the Only Girl in the World Who Struggles with Self-Confidence

During my freshman year of college, I was sitting in class and the professor asked everyone to pull out a piece of paper and list ten things they liked about themselves...skills, physical features--anything. After a few minutes, she asked for discussion on what we'd listed. I sat in that class surrounded by the most beautiful, wildly talented people I'd ever known and discovered that not one of them had been able to list even two things they liked about themselves. Shocker! 
All my friends are likely as insecure as I am, but it's really easy to let the knowledge of my insecurities cripple me. Self-condemnation destroys healthy self esteem. When we focus on lies instead of the truth, eventually, the truth ceases to matter. It doesn't matter that we are beautiful women with the pages of our books waiting to be written. It doesn't matter that we aren't really unlovable...that we aren't really inadequate. What matters is that we believe we are. 
We are what we think. If we feed our mind with the noise of fear, we will be anxious all the time. If we feed our hearts with self-loathing, we will never dare to use our skills to do something extraordinary for God. If we feed our minds with lies, we will live ugly, defeated lives.

3.   Pretending to be Unaffected by Pain Weakens Confidence

When I was nineteen, my eighteen year old brother died in a drowning accident and in the weeks that followed I begged God to help me quit crying. I felt weak and pathetic. It's almost 15 years later and I'm still crying, but I no longer feel weak and pathetic. I feel strong. In 2011, I felt compelled to be real and true and chronicle that experience in my book, After Nathaniel. At the time, I wondered Why? Why must I lay the worst of myself open on pages that live on coffee tables and bookstore shelves and pillows and smartphones? Must I really let strangers into the deep sacred parts of my heart and how can I ever rise above after being this broken?
There is no such thing as a life without pain, though we may not particularly want it. A person with no tears or flesh or feeling is simply a robot. Choosing to be tender and broken releases me to embrace a stronger self and my tears are like tiny messengers...secret-bearers that deliver a most important message--Your heart beats strong. Listening to the message of loss and heartbreak wakes me up to who I am, where I come from, and what matters most (but only if I don't close myself off from the things that break my heart).

4.   Running from Your Dream Is Hard Work and Depressing

I'm not particularly comfortable with the criticism that can come from trying to offer a piece of myself through my personality or my art. It's tempting at times to think Living the dream is too much work. Why should I do anything more than lie on the couch and read a book? But really, informing my life with fear is even more difficult than getting into the studio and getting at it. 

In those moments, I remind myself of Steven Pressfield's advice in his bestselling book, The War of Art,  "Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as an indicator of aspiration. It reflects love, love of something we dream of doing, and desire, desire to do it. If you find yourself asking yourself...'Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?' Chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death." 
I can't let self-doubt silence me. I must force it to work for me. 

5.   Celebrating the Success of Others is a Back Door to Confidence
Egos are a waste of time and being intimidated by others is a waste of friendship and inspiration. Glory hogs are always afraid...trying to measure their impact, comparing themselves, fearing the success of others. I know because I was one. Denying the inspiration others can provide is a death clamp on creativity and confidence. We ALL have been asked to show up, to walk out onto the grand stage of our lives and make art. How do I know? Because we were born. There is nothing more inspiring to my own creativity than the life art of the musicians, the teachers, the illustrators, the waiters, the obstetricians, the mothers and even the back-ground singers. All our hands make different kinds of art and we are most influenced by individuals who are in touch with what makes them come alive.

6.   Confidence Doesn't Automatically Show Up When You Turn 20 or 30 or 40
This is a life-long journey that extends far beyond high school. No matter the stage of our lives, we continue to long to be chosen, to be looked at and noticed as a treasure. During the in-between moments when I feel like a cosmic boo-boo, I recite my warrior heart-cry.

I don't want my life to be ruled by the fear of failure, the fear of your opinion or the fear of my own inadequacies. I want to live a costly, fulfilled wealthy treasure of a life. I want the junk out of my heart. I want to be purified. I want God to fill the parts of my mind that are running dry. I want His power without barriers and His favor on my business, my home, my days. I want my life to be a gift back to God--a beautiful picture that ends up on His fridge. 

7.   Self Confidence isn't the Ultimate Goal 

Happiness is not more self confidence but rather, God confidence....
Life is not about becoming important or famous or promoted but about me allowing God to release his art into the world through me. While pursuing the things I'm passionate about isn't the goal, it can be a signpost, like a straight arrow pointing to my center, saying This is the path to the deepest part of who you are, how your are made and the poetry of your soul. 
We were made to soar...to break free from the confines of a small life. We don't have to be more beautiful than we are right now. We don't have to be more talented than we are right now. God has set eternity in our hearts (Ecc. 3:11). His sacrifice bridged our ordinary life to the extraordinary. It doesn't get more epic or beautiful than that! 

Overcoming 12 Months of Insecurity

LOFT cardi | Boden Wow skirt and Breton top | Claire's headwrap
 Target watch | Eat Cake for Breakfast Graphic Tote (tutorial)

So I haven’t blogged in a while. In fact, I've been afraid of blogging for about a year now. It seemed too false, too unreal, to post pictures of myself smiling when I've been in the middle of such an internal battle. You see that girl over there…the one hiding from people and avoiding conversation? Yup, that’s me.We all have our unique shape of fear and mine has been plaguing me in the big, fat form of INSECURITY.  The critic in my head speaks loudly, causing me to worry that my art is a waste of time…letting me believe that I really do have something valuable to offer but insisting that someone else can do it better.  Her question whispers those six foul words into my heart: Who do you think you are? 

Have you ever noticed how the ghost of INSECURITY seems to make so much sense? She knows everything. INSECURITY knows why I’m an idiot. She knows why my art doesn't matter, why my skill-set isn't useful.  INSECURITY can recite all the ways my ideas are recycled and my designs are un-wearable and why people think my outfits are ridiculous. She writes a song about my inadequacy and failure and weaves the sticky, little melody all around my heart. And I believe her. I stop writing. Stop the sewing. Stop the designing. Stop blogging. Stop creating. I believe her and everything just…stops. I lose sight of my truth.

I've known since I was nineteen that I wanted to open an online boutique of pretty skirts and dresses. Launching the KRISTINA J. blog while my children were babies at home was a strategic step towards that goal…creating a place where I could experiment with styles, designs and product shoots while getting feedback for what women were really looking for in their clothes.  And then came the day when all three kiddos were attending school and I was finally going to have enough time to launch a clothing line and what did I do? I freaked out, that’s what. I ran. I became desperately afraid of my inadequacy ruining my dreams instead of embracing the beauty of what I might create in the process. 

INSECURITY made a list of my shortcomings and convinced me that the eyes of a huge audience were trained in my direction, waiting for me to make a fool of myself. Focusing on the whispers of INSECURITY turned my hope-filled dream into something that was too serious and cumbersome to carry. Pursuing THE DREAM became such a big deal that instead of pursing God, I sank into self-effort and expectation.  While I should have spent this year being an image bearer with a job to do, I've become a job doer with an image to maintain.

Here’s the discovery it’s taken me an entire year to figure out. I can try to believe in myself and sink into procrastination and worry that my art is not enough…that I have nothing to offer. Or I can sink hard into God.  I choose that last one.

Though I’m not sure anyone even reads this blog anymore, I’m publicly confessing that INSECURITY took me down, but this is me, getting back up, brushing off my knees after the fall and deciding to make art even as I wait for courage.  Yes, someone else can write better, blog better, love better, design better, and sew better. Other people can construct clothes better, but that doesn't mean I can’t design and construct as well. 

Of course, even with this confession INSECURITY continues to vomit: Who do you think you are?

Who do I think I am?

I am a God-redeemed young woman made in the image of Creator God and given a specific set of skills by his creative design. I am a poem…his artwork.  No more waiting for qualifications, permissions or self-approval.

My hands are filled with dreams and desires and all I can do is respond to God where I am as I am with what I've got.  

I've got sewing machine and the skill to use it.

I've got a point-of-view and a platform from which to display it.

And I have a dream to delight others with what I have to offer.

I am an image bearer and I have a job to do.

That’s my truth. 

Autumn White

J.Crew midi skirt |  GAP jacket, sweater + blouse |  Sperry shoes (check eBay)  |  FOSSIL bag |  AE watch

 

Spring Snow

Land's End Canvas Dress (similar) (similar) | J.Crew Cardi (similar) | HM coat 

Tommy Hilfiger boots | Steve Madden satchel (similar) | LOFT tights + belt (similar)

Last time I wore this dress was about forever ago. Back when the air was warm, the highlights were blond and about 100 other pleasant, summery memories that make me cry to think about now. The thought of putting heels on today made me cringe, plus, we've been hit with snow...AGAIN, so I'm trying to lay off on shoes that could very likely get me killed if I stepped outside the house in them. I'm pretty sure I should get fashion points for smiling though, considering the circumstances. Cuz' like, there's absolutely nothing absurd about shopping for plastic Easter eggs while wearing winter rain boots. Nothing at all.

---

Making it Work: Field Scout Skirt

I completely passed over this skirt for the longest time,

then one day it hit me...

maybe, just maybe, a girl needs an underwhelming (but completely versatile) piece that allows her more vibrant pieces to shine.

As I started pairing it with different things I realized it changed color depending on what you put next to it--looking deep slate blue, camo green or even gray.

Suddenly, what I thought was a no-go, don't need skirt became the sheer definition of a wardrobe necessity.

#1 Running Errands

This chambray shirt is vintage 1980's--I can't believe we've already come full circle to this silhouette since I was a kid, but I just saw a shirt like this in Walmart last week for $10!

Just proves everything comes back around some time or other.

(Anthropologie Field Scout Skirt, Tellicherry Belt, 1980's Vintage Chambray Shirt, Steve Madden Leopard Wedges)

This J.Crew twisted tortoise headband is one of the most versatile accessories I've ever bought. It's the same color as my hair and I love that I can put it on to hold back the frizzy insanity without my hairstyle being interrupted by a jolt of color.

#2 Work

Completely understated, working neutrals in all the same shades, which I've been making an effort to do more. I feel like I'm usually just color, color, color...so this is different for me.

(J.Crew floral tee and patent belt, Anthropologie Roaming Frills Cardi, UO ruffle flats)

#3 Trip to the park

I can't believe this is the first time you're seeing my insulated Starbucks cup on this blog, because I'm literally NEVER without it.

(J.Crew Licorice tee, Kimono Twisted Placket Blouse, Twisted Tortoise Headband, All-Star Converse Sneakers, H&M sunglasses, caffeine buzz courtesy of Starbucks)

#4 Street Festival

I think this looks the way I felt that day--relaxed and neutral.

(J.Crew tee, Ruffle Cardigan, Wood Wedges and Twisted Tortoise Headband -- see what I mean? You can hardly tell the headband's there, but it's totally keeping the frizz at bay.)

So, off for a holiday weekend!! I hope you all have a FAB Labor Day!!!

Is there such a thing as over-wearing something?

If so, then I am, without a doubt, guilty as charged.

But honestly, there's nothing that makes me feel more guilty than

an unloved, unworn dress hanging in my closet.

What a waste of hard-earned money!

Such will never be the case with my In a Twinkling Dress...it's just love, love, love for me.

Plus, it is a twinkling day...my oldest son's first day of school.

(Anthropologie In a Twinkling Dress, J.CREW gold lame' blouse and patent belt, Urban Outfitters T-Straps)

Wearing: Orchid Whisper

(KRISTINA J. Orchid Whisper Dress handworked by me, J.CREW bouquet sash, Payless Wedges)

I walked into TJMaxx to look at the toys with my children,

when saw a sack dress made out of the most beautiful fabric

hovering in the corner of my eye.

I think I might have actually lost my breath for a second.

I knew instantly I'd have to use it, so I grabbed the XXL just to make sure I'd have enough fabric, reworked it and voila!!!!....

the little Orchid Whisper dress (which I love, by the way).

It's looks all demure and delicate, but it's tough enough to go the distance of the day, and for me, that's a must.

FYI

I just listed a boatload of clothes on Ebay.

If you're looking for a little girl in your life, all of Kenzie's fall and winter clothes from last year are there, plus

some of my own.

Click here to see more.

Or you can just search by seller (1508kristina).

baby Gap Chelsea line

baby Gap St. Petersburg line

Gymboree Falling For Monkeys line

J.CREW grey herringbone jacket

Anthropologie Hazel Sunday Brunch Blouse

Wearing: Converse Sneakers

Please excuse me while I relive my childhood.

I walked into Target and put on a pair of Converse sneakers for the first time in 20 years and couldn't take them off...seriously, I wore them out of the store.

And worse, I've worn them with practically (ahem) everything.

Maybe it's the memories they evoke of an ideal childhood or the crisp whiteness of a new pair or just the fact that they are ridiculously comfortable, but whatever the case may be, I'll be wearing them for the next few weeks while I can still ecstatically say that I 'm a twenty-something mom of three!

(Anthropologie Weave-the-Ring Skirt, J.CREW Kimono Twisted Placket Button-up, V-Neck Vest and Sea-grass Messenger Bag, All-Star Converse Sneakers)

So, Readers...do you ever secretly put on a deliciously comfortable pair of shoes and wish your platforms felt that amazing on?

Reflecting

Aaahhh...Sunday.

I love the opportunity it brings to go to church

and reflect on the week.

Am I showing a grateful spirit for all the intangible riches in my life (as well as that new pair of shoes)? Have I walked towards God in measurable ways? Do my children, who are with me all the time and see me at my worst, enjoy being with me? Do I give to my husband unselfishly?

These are things I love to sit on a park bench and ponder...to celebrate every victory of the week and, if realizing I've fallen short of some personal goal, determine that this week will be better.

(LOFT dress and cardi, JCREW belt and flower, Kenneth Cole Reaction Sunglasses)